Pattern to Make an F-bomb

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Made in Nashville, Tennessee

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This is a pattern that I wrote for crochet F-bombs. The pattern covers how to make a ball and how to make dirty jokes about making a ball and how to stuff a ball and... Well, you get the idea.

It is not a finished product, but I do offer actual F-bombs in my store as well as this pattern. If you aren't a hooker, I'll hook for you! This pattern should be helpful to beginning crocheters, and expert crocheters who already know how to ball around may enjoy the humor.

Average review
34 minutes ago by bengal01cat98
Pattern is easy to follow and actually humorous. I made some out of different yarns and was quite pleased with the effect! Instead of making a felt F as the pattern called for I made a Tunisian crochet F and sewed it to the balls.
Feb 28, 2018 by Sue Stewart Brown
The pattern was so easy to follow! I got it to make for a friend. He sent me a picture on FB with a phrase that said "My birthday cometh..." I made him two of them! I glued the F's on with tacky glue and it turned out pretty good and saved a lot of time. Thanks!
Feb 27, 2018 by ucontactbree
The pattern is informative, detailed (including pictures), and hilarious! A must-have for foul-mouthed crochet enthusiasts, like me :-)
Feb 9, 2018 by Gretchen Stull

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I accept Paypal, Etsy giftcards, and major debit and credit cards. If payment hasn't been received a couple days after the sale, I will assume you changed your mind, cancel the sale, and relist the item.

Returns & exchanges
I gladly accept returns and exchanges
Contact me within: 7 days of delivery
Ship items back within: 30 days of delivery
I don't accept cancellations
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
The following items can't be returned or exchanged
Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:
  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
Conditions of return
Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.
Additional return information
If you receive the item and it is unsatisfactory (horrors!), please contact me within 7 days of delivery so we can try to work it out. With returns or exchanges, the item must be returned unused and in the same condition in which it shipped. Full purchase price, minus s&h, will be refunded after receipt of item. If you prefer an exchange, the substitute item will be put in the mail upon receipt of the original.

Additional policies

Custom orders take longer! We can discuss how much longer in email--definitely a week, minimum.

Why? Because first I crochet the item, which may take a week or more depending on life events, then I might sew some stuff onto it, and then I maybe glue or paint some stuff on it, then maybe it needs weapons or hats, then I might use STIFFY on it, and it has to dry, and then I need to put hardware on it, like all those little hookie and hoopie things (the technical terms) for earrings, and then I have to take photos of it in various places so I can remember it always, and then I have to try to pull the Meankitty hairs out of it, and then I have to, finally, go to the post office.